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No Regrets

December 11, 2015

I lost my beloved mom in October, in which she battled with dementia and aggressive breast cancer.  I was her caregiver and will admit it was a journey for Mom and our family.

We had some good and bad days. It’s hard to watch your loved one deteriorate in front of you. Mom was losing her independence, loss of short term memory and toward the end became combative. At times she and I cried alone and together.

I made a promise to God and to Mom I will be there for her each and every day. Through the grace of God, I was there for the good and bad days. There were even times Mom would have a memory from her past.  She would laugh so loud and hard. I wouldn’t quite know which memory, but I would laugh loud and hard with her.

I was with my mom when she took her last breath . . . I was holding my Mom’s hand and The Temptations movie was on television. The song “My Girl” came on, and I started singing it to my mom. She opened her eyes for the second time in over a week. I was so excited that I rubbed her hand while singing. After the song was over, I could see my reflection in her eyes. I said, “Mom, Rene and I are here . . . we’re okay and it’s okay, you can go.” Mom continued look at me and took her last breath. Mom looked so at peace. I knew she was in God’s Hands.

I’m in such a good place these days. Yes, I miss my mom and best friend. I did the best I could in being there and caring for my mom . . . I HAVE NO REGRETS.

After a long career of serving others through the Wisconsin Department of Corrections as a probation and parole agent, Tara R. Pulley stays active in her retirement as a member of Sister Speak, a trilogy of writers who formed in 2010 with a vision of self-expression and a goal of healing. The trio states they are inspired by grace, allowing them to take a genuine position on the struggles and successes of everyday living.

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