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Kicking the Addiction of Discontent

January 27, 2015

Cancer has a way of redefining the definition of small-stuff. Working twelve-hours or more a day was no longer impressive. Bragging about the hundreds of paid-time-off hours I had accrued because I never took vacation, started to sound insane. The message was clear long before my diagnosis; I just refused to deviate from my path to self-gratification. I am not sure I will call it an epiphany, but more like a kick in the head, the day I decided that my new idea of success – was to live. Contrary to my belief, this revelation did not prevent me from making strategic plans, maintaining a strong work ethic, or just being the activator that I was known to be. What changed was the way I managed my goals and the priority in which I chose to set them.

I began to seek wisdom to control my need to control, and then it became transparent that I was restricted by chains of conceit. I was stuck in the bubble of “overachiever” that I lost sight of what I truly was trying to accomplish. It was painful revealing behaviors that I needed to change, but this was the start of my new existence.

I always believed that sleep was overrated, because I felt the need to be consistently productive. Truth be told, I still work to rebel against this urge, but life has a way of making you put things into perspective. I have discovered that it is okay to push hard, but it is equally important to breathe. When I was diagnosed with stage four bone cancer, I never let it limit my vision for my future, because I always knew that there was an ultimate plan for my life. As a competitor, an entrepreneur, and a person who fought the cancer battle and won, I can testify that I have encountered many struggles, but I have also experienced profound triumphs. I am engulfed with the feeling of promise and hope, and I am excited to know that we all have the option of choice. I choose to intentionally defy self-destruction; I have decided to challenge opposition; and I will be deliberate about letting go. I have learned to welcome the consciousness that I have drawn from surrender, as miracles were derived when control was relinquished. By shifting my perception of submission, I have given myself permission to exhale.

I remember a day trip I had taken to Chicago. A friend of mine won several tickets to the Oprah Winfrey Show, and she called and asked if I wanted to attend. Normally I would have declined, because the tickets were for the very next day and I was scheduled to work, but before I could give it much thought, the words “Yes, I will go!” unexpectedly flew out of my mouth.

I had not been out much since I stopped wearing my wig and my hair had grown about an inch; I was actually looking forward to showing off my new do. I showed up the next morning in my bright orange sweater, fuchsia fitted t-shirt, form fitted blue jeans, and hot pink pumps – we were told to wear bright colors and I didn’t plan to disappoint. When we arrived at Harpo Studios there were about 20 people in line ahead of us, but we didn’t care because we were so elated just for the opportunity. As my friends and I stood chatting while we waited patiently in line, one of the Harpo employees started making her way down the aisle. I watched her by-pass the first 20 people then she stopped when she saw me. She gestured for me to come with her and to bring my friends along. We really didn’t know why I was chosen at the time, and honestly, I really didn’t care. I just knew that I was being led into the area where the studio audience would be sitting.

I followed the lady like she was leading me to a pot of gold and the emotion I was feeling suggested that my pot was going to be full to the top. When we finally reached our seats, we were told that we would be sitting in the front row, because the bright colors that I had worn would show well on camera. It was an amazing feeling to be in the front row at the Oprah Show, and we could hardly compose ourselves. During the, what I would imagine was the commercial breaks, Oprah would talk directly to the audience. On one of the intermissions, she actually struck a full conversation with my friends and me. I actually felt like we were sitting in my living room just shooting the breeze. As the show continued, I felt an overwhelming feeling of contentment – an emotion that wasn’t familiar, but one that I definitely wanted to experience again.

My decision to surrender to the moment and go with the flow allowed me to create a simple memory that would in turn, produce a life-changing testimony. Today, more of my choices are spontaneous, I choose to wear bright colors often, my short hairdo is now a curly mane, and I define true success in my ability to find harmony in living.

Zelda Corona is a business and life coach under her company Victory Vision Business Ventures, LLC. She co-authored the books No Artificial Ingredients – Reflections Unplugged and Mommy Divas on the Move: 16 Successful Secrets for Mompreneurs. She is a member of Sister Speak, a trilogy of writers who formed in 2010 with a vision of self-expression and a goal of healing. The trio states they are inspired by grace, allowing them to take a genuine position on the struggles and successes of everyday living.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Ms TRP permalink
    January 27, 2015 9:44 pm

    So Inspirational for those of us who have been diagnosis with cancer and/or loved ones. Thanks for sharing your experience…….Ms TRP

  2. January 27, 2015 11:00 pm

    This is something that will touch all in some form…
    Sonya Bowman

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